Hello,

This is Jez Pez, the Editor of DUDE. This week we were informed that a rapist was possibly going to attend our Brisbane launch party. It is something I want to talk about and something I think we should all be talking about. Sexual violence or any form of violence is completely unacceptable, but unfortunately it is so heartbreakingly common.

Once we were notified we were in a position to take responsibility and accountability as event organisers, as feminists, as male identified people and as community members. I want to express sincerest thanks for being notified so that we could work to make our event safe for everyone and also take action in the community.

It was important to me and to the other people I worked with to address this matter, that  we first and foremost respected the survivor/s, without question. Something which I think the legal and judicial systems fail to do. Something which I think society often fails to do.

Another reason why I am posting this statement is to advocate against sexual violence and domestic violence in our communities. It happens, it is happening now and it isn’t OK. And nobody is exempt from this. It hurts people and destroys lives and it hurts communities.

I’m going to post some links below. Some are fact sheets on sexual assault and some are radical and anarchic community responses to sexual assault, including workshop kits about consent. Please take the time to read, share and generate discussion in your community. This shit can’t be swept under the rug.

Stand up against rape, against rape culture and against slut shaming.

Regards,

Jez Pez

LINKS

http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/sexual-assault

http://zinelibrary.info/dealing-our-shit-six-years-mens-group-and-accountability-work

http://zinelibrary.info/taking-first-step-suggestions-people-called-out-abusive-behavior

http://www.anarchapistemology.net/archives/409#more-409

http://zinelibrary.info/world-without-sexual-assault-community-response-sexual-assault

J: What does trans mean to you and your identity?

A: I can say that I identify as genderqueer, I identify as someone who was born Intersex and I am someone who identifies as trans and sometimes, tongue in cheek, yet serious, I sometimes identify as trans-ish. I guess that sometimes I feel as though I need to qualify that, because I am not on hormones and I don’t know if it’s OK to claim the identity of trans without being on T… Because I’m just not sure it holds the same weight… Although I do go by ‘he’ in my personal and professional life, I think that there is, as we mentioned, a disparity between hormone vs. non hormone users and within that context, I also find it a bit challenging to fully understand how my being born Intersex also comes into play within that trans identity. I still think about them separately, as being Intersex is how I was born biologically. Anyway, that is generally how I identify but I think it’s complex topic. I think my answer also illustrates the internal struggle/questions I have about what exactly “makes” a trans man.

J: Yeah I can understand that. It is pretty awful to feel like you need to qualify your identity, because there are so many people out there who don’t take hormones and who don’t have surgeries and still deserve their identity to be respected.

A: Yeah so, I am 41 years old and I came out in 1988 and I was friends and lovers with some of the first people who were on testosterone, purchasing it on the underground black market. And I’ve seen and known and have a history that existed as a queer person, prior to FTM identity. I don’t feel pressure to need to take hormones to claim trans in a way, but when we are talking and pontificating about the concepts of bodies, that certain aesthetics and certain surgeries and certain babes in the community who are idealized, certain porn and/or magazines that publish certain photos of guys who look certain ways, do prioritize, I believe, bodies that have been on hormones and have had surgery over those who haven’t. I am a bit nervous about making that statement but that is my opinion. So I think there is something to be said about how there seems to be less and less people portrayed in the queer media who are claim and embrace the third sex or the liminal stage as the anthropologist Malanowski defines it, which is the state of “betwixt and between”.

J: Yeah sure. So having been around to witness a bit of an explosion of trans culture, born from that what I call a “trans pop culture”, especially with YouTube videos, magazines and poster, do you think we are replicating some of the same stereotypes as mainstream culture? If so, do you perceive this as perhaps negating a diversity of bodies?

A: Well, I believe that the trend of hormones and surgery with folks in theirs 20’s has become the norm. I guess that with certain magazines, movies and folks in the community it does seem like the “ideal” and thus a majority of images portrayed seem to focus on people who have fully transitioned. I feel like a dying breed. I feel like the few people, myself included, who still claim butch, dyke or genderqueer and who even still have their breasts and who do not inject testosterone, I feel like we are all a rare and somewhat archaic marginal group of people.

J: I understand what you are saying. Can you tell me more about the workshops you run with James Darling?

A: We recently presented on a panel for the Butch Voices Conference and it was called Pansies, Mommy’s Boys & Sissies: Fae Representations of Masculinity within the Queer Community.

J: Fae masculinites – I like that! I feel like that maybe better represents parts of our community, people who may feel more camp and dandy.

A: Yes, I do too! But the conference was for folks in the Butch, Stud, Aggressive & Trans communities, and in the end, I think Jae & I kinda reached the conclusion that Pansies, Mommy’s Boys & Sissies don’t necessarily “fit in” those groups. At least, we don’t know or see many people in the Bay Area who equally embrace fae as well as masculine identities…..I did see more fluidity in Sydney though which I LOVED! A few nights ago for example, I was wearing pearls, eye shadow and vintage fur to a show, although granted, it was to a concert, but other dykes & trans guys didn’t really know how to react to me…

What I enjoy in dressing up is presenting a complex gendered identity. Personally, I like to see the most manliest man who also has a gentle grace about him. What bums me out is not seeing some of the complexities be so apparent within the trans community. I’m not saying they are not there, certainly the people I know are the shape shifters and are the in-betweeners. For me, I think the interesting points that I want to explore are really delving into the liminal state and the grey area of what it means to occupy a more complex space. For me, maybe that means being tough on the outside and a marshmallow on the inside. It means, being able to stand proud in the fact that I claim Sissy or Pansy as an identity, but still being able to be strong, fierce and butch too. Both/And NOT Either/Or.

It’s also about shifting the paradigm of words that would normally mean ‘weak’ in mass culture, whereas for me they are strong. It’s what we did with the term ‘queer’ in the 1990’s and dyke/fag in the 1980’s. It’s about reinvention. What saddens me about some pop culture trans representations, I’m not sure I’m totally seeing the complexity of identities represented in media and when I see the pendulum swing to reinforce a dominate paradigm, it makes me uneasy. It saddens me because of the invisibility factor of folks of different takes on trans gender and also the lack of images celebrating people who haven’t had surgery or are of bigger size. I’m really talking of the top of my fucking head here, so I hope I am making sense. I’m a bit nervous to express my opinions on this matter and I am still working out my thoughts on all of this – so hope I don’t offend anyone. Again, this is my humble opinion, coming from a US, Bay Area specific viewpoint.

J: I don’t think you are alone in thinking this way. I share similar thoughts, so maybe it’s good to get a conversation going. Maybe we could continue next time in Australia?

A: That sounds fine, sweet and dandy. I am hoping to come back during Mardi Gras in 2012 and may try to even facilitate a few panels/workshops about a few topics I touched on. Thanks for interviewing me Jez. Being a guy who isn’t on hormones and who hasn’t had top surgery, it is really validating to be interviewed for Dude Magazine, so thanks heaps!

********

ALIX IRON is running a panel and class on Service and Queer Mommy dynamics in Sydney this February 29th! This is an event which delves into dynamics between consenting adults. Just like the well known Daddy/Son play – of which I am an active BOY – and I’m so happy that someone is sticking their neck out to talk about Mommy/Daughter and Mommy/Son dynamics – it might be taboo – but that is what is hot! This is ADULT play…. grr.

Click on the flyer for more information!!

Alix Iron's class and panel on service and Mommy/Mummy dynamics.. <3

by Tommy J for DUDE. 2

So a good mate of mine is about six months into taking testosterone and he’s doing a lot of experimenting with internet hook ups with men. He would love to have an all-night fuck fest with a big, beautiful bear, but for a great night (or morning, or afternoon) he’ll happily hook up with various kinds of gay or bi identifying cis men. And as his horny 22 year old friend, I get to hear all the glorious details. He tells me all the great stories about quick meet ups, grunting phone calls and sweaty palms.

One Monday morning at a little café around the corner from his place, we lean in over our soy latte’s whispering excitedly…

“So, he puts you on your stomach, leans over and then…?” I ask excitedly gripping my coffee mug.

“Well he’s just about to…” PJ starts, but trails off looking uncomfortable.

I give him a couple of minutes to stare out the window but eventually I look at him and say, “PJ, what happened?”

He sips some water, takes a deep breath in and goes on,

“Tommy seriously. These guys, some of them are idiots. I specifically look for guys who talk about being trans positive or at least are open to the idea. I begin our hooks ups straight up: I say, ‘This is what I call my junk, what do you call yours? This is what I’m up for, what are you up for? Etcetera, etcetera,’ and it’s all great at the beginning. But seriously! When a guy starts on about my “chest” or starts calling my junk the wrong thing, oh man, it’s such a fucking turn off!

Smiling awkwardly at the older woman at the next table with the disgruntled dog at her feet I reply, “Oh dude, I’m sorry to hear you had a weird night.”

“It’s not just a weird night, it’s all the time! I just want to fuck a guy who’s a little trans savvy. I don’t want any of this boys-who-talk-over-the-net-about-how-trans-friendly-they-are and then we meet up and I end up feeling gender fucked. I want to feel like my best male, trans, spunk self when I’m fucking. I don’t want hear you’re goddamn Thailand experience!” he finishes exasperated.

The conversation gets me thinking: Who’s got some good ideas to tackle the awkwardness of a lover consistently calling your body the wrong names? Other than constantly trying to educate and re-educate our lovers, what else is possible? And frankly, when all you want is a really good fuck, or one afternoon with a stranger, how can you get the respect that we all deserve? Maybe it’s a little different with regular or long term lovers, sex is all about what you can make it together and a little educating can go a long way. But with a stranger that you’ve been up front with about the way you talk and feel about your body, it shouldn’t be a lot to ask for them to respect your boundaries.

Therefore I ask:

Dear cis men-looking-to-hook-up-with-me or anyone-who-feels-this-is-relevant-to-them,

I am excellent. If you’re a little bit more open to respecting me for the amazing human I am, we will most likely have an amazing time.

Seriously amazing.

You can do this by listening to what I’m saying.

When I say, “Hey I’m up for this, and not for that,” respect it.
When I say, “I like this bit to be called this,” call it that.
When I say, “Oh hey, I don’t really want to hear about the other lovers you’ve been with or the other remotely related trans experiences you or your mate have had,” don’t talk about it.

- – - – - – -

Dear DUDE fans!

Copy the above on a piece of paper. Whenever need be, show your lover or hookup-to-be this piece of paper. If he doesn’t listen, show him the door. You deserve something better.

Tommy J

Jez: How did you get into the porn industry?

James: When I moved to San Francisco I got an opportunity to do a scene with a person I was dating at the time for Crash Pad. What could be better? I just moved to a new city and I’m going to get paid to fuck my lover! That was my first taste of queer porn and I loved it.

If Buck Angel didn’t exist, I would not have gotten as far as I have with porn. I think there would still be indy productions happening, like XX Boys by Kael T Block and Body Alchemy by Loren Cameron for example. Those are some of the first things that put trans men out there as sexual beings.

Is the queer porn scene diverse?

There is absolutely way more diversity in queer porn but there definitely needs to be more people of colour and more people of size in queer porn because it is predominantly white thin bodies, but I know the producers are trying really hard to do that and a lot of it has do with who turns up for auditions. These films are coming out of the producers pockets, they aren’t huge productions like what you see in LA.

We have the same issue with achieving diversity with DUDE MAGAZINE, we rely on the submissions to help us maintain diversity and we actively seek that out. Why do you think this happens in our community?

I think a lot of it has to do with how society values different bodies. I hear this a lot with queer play parties like ‘oh we have trans women show up’ and I think a lot of it is about creating an environment where these people will feel comfortable coming and if you are getting messages from everywhere in society telling you that you are not as desirable then it is harder to apply or send out a photo because then you get rejected and you don’t want to be rejected by people in your community or people within your queer family. It’s a really complicated issue to try and have diverse representation but to do it in a way that is not tokenising.

by James Darling. Courtesy of the artist.

People who have been in the lime light for years like Buck Angel and Loren Cameron, they obviously work hard in the gym, they are muscular men and in the eye of the public it might click with them to see a ‘typical’ man and this further cements a stereotype of what’s ‘hot’. This makes it harder for trans guys who don’t want to be in the gym 7 days a week, people who are still beautiful and attractive, like yourself who has more of the boyish look going on. What is that like for you?

It has been interesting, the ways I get received. I am so amazed at how many messages I get from people who are so happy to see a different kind of body. I mean my body is still very privileged in the western world, I am thin and I am white and I pass almost all the time, but I am also kinda feminine and sometimes butch it up. I am pretty sparkly and fabulous and gay and some people don’t know how to handle that.

I certainly could have used more empowering images of transexuality when I was younger and I am very honoured to be a part of that [now].

How would you describe yourself behind the scenes?

Oh I am totally shy and awkward! Some people when they meet me are really surprised, in my day to day life I am a pretty quiet dude.

We were just at the Folsom Street Fair Fetish Festival like two days ago, how was your time there?

I feel really lucky when I’m in SF because a lot of men have some knowledge of trans guys and some random men can fondle me on the dance floor and it’s fun, but I have to let them know at some point that I’m trans and guys out here mostly respond really positively. Guys will be respectful and be either ‘That’s hot’ or ‘Sorry that’s not my thing’.

Most trans guys fall into two categories, some won’t care and just wanna fuck and some don’t want their trans status to be a part of the equation. For me I would rather it not be an issue. I do want people to be hot for my body but I don’t want intense gender theory 101 discussions when I’m trying to get laid!

Yeah totally! Especially I think it can be hard when you are first exploring your homosexuality or queerness during or after transition. James, how do you go about cruising for sex? I basically just trust my instincts and know my boundaries, but what do you do?

I know for a lot of trans guys – myself included – often it’s easier to find guys for casual sex online. As much as it’s really exciting to be out in a public space and to be cruised, it’s risky. It’s easier to spell it out online.

I think it’s important to know what you want to get out of an experience and what your boundaries are. Be really assertive about that and if someone is pushing your boundaries then that person isn’t worth your time and you should get out of there. Before you go and have casual sex (with somebody you don’t know) it’s probably a good idea to let a friend know where you are going to be and when you expect to be back and what to do if you aren’t back. Make sure you have a safety net and know what safer sex is to you.

There are a lot of misconceptions that trans guys only bottom!

I know! I have a cis male lover and I top him. What’s not to love about being able to choose the size, length and width of your cock and it never goes soft! Cis guys can’t do that!

And reciprocation! Some trans guys find themselves in situations where you play in a power dynamic because it’s a new experience and end up just giving pleasure without receiving.

Yeah I know. A lot of the trans chaser guys here are really fixated on the changes that happen with testosterone and are really into oral on trans guy cocks. I am picky though and I am one of those guys when having casual sex with men, I prefer to be used and fucked and don’t always need reciprocation, but I do appreciate it. A lot of trans guys are fans of blowjobs, who doesn’t like a blowjob!

Max: I think we were in different situations because I ‘played the game’ a little more: saying I ‘identified as a guy’ and wanted chest surgery ‘first’, neither of which is necessarily true. I just wanted chest surgery and not to take testosterone. But regardless I was pressured by practically everyone to start taking hormones. Like, they couldn’t understand why someone with breasts wouldn’t want them, unless they were quintessentially and essentially male, and therefore wanted body hair and all that. What was it like for you?

Art: From the day they sprouted I always thought they were wrong on me. I saw the results of a lot of ftm mates and thought that is finally what I want. I never wanted pert little boobies that a massive reduction would provide, so I started the process in January 2011. By March I had the interview and the all clear by the psychiatrist that I wasn’t mad to want what others had got, without it necessarily being a ‘gender issue’.

Except for my boobs — and how a lot of the outside, uneducated queer world respond to me — I’m actually very comfortable with who I am. I’m not on T. I have underlying health issues and don’t have a massive drive to go on it at this stage. To me it was about body dysmorphia, like a big nose or big ears. I had the op[eration] in October and had a very good recovery. I could dress myself et cetera straight away and took panadol only for a week or so… I had full nipple sensation and this nearly drove me through the roof while they were healing!

I am very happy with my results and have started back at the gym and my regular life a couple of weeks ago. I was out of pocket about $9K, as I did not do it through a private health fund. For me it has been worth everything. I would only encourage those that want/need/desire the surgery to investigate it further and see if it’s for you.

Good work man that’s awesome. I remember you saying that you wished you’d been able to do it twenty years ago — and that was quite inspiring for me to just do it now, thinking it pretty likely I would just spend the next twenty years wanting it — so thanks! I think our age difference was pretty affective in the ways we were received by medical professionals. I think younger people have to do more convincing docs in terms of not wanting to reproduce. I certainly felt that way. Not that I don’t think it was hard for you in other ways of course. Can you tell me about refusing to ‘trans identify’? I find that really interesting and brave. Like, you just went in and said “I’m butch. I’ve always lived an androgynous ‘lifestyle’ and this is what I want.” Is that right? And what was the reaction to that?

Sure, I do trans identify but not totally and I did not feel that this was anyone’s business when it came to this particular procedure. I don’t think that any particular gender ‘own boobs’ and it does not make sense to me that only if you are on T can you have this procedure… I felt like a new avenue needed to be opened up for butch id[entified] bio women that just simply hate having boobs. I often feel I swing in between and along side trans/butch. I used it to do this: only the first 15-20 min of my assessment was talking about this, the rest was standard questions to test my frame of mind, etc.

I know what you mean. For me it was a cosmetic procedure I was happy to pay for. And I would’ve gladly refused the medicare rebate (about $1000) in order to avoid the assessment process: I found it really humiliating. As someone who works in universities and other places that are awesome — where people are judged by how they think not how they look — I found it pretty offensive that I got a lot of ‘You’re not man enough for this!’ I really like your attitude. I just hope more people who thought they didn’t have access to ‘trans procedures,’ and maybe have more diverse ideas about gender, go through this process, and hopefully the docs will see it’s totally legitimate. It wasn’t easy; I was really pressured to go on T, and forced to see two psychiatrists because of my ‘unusual desires.’ So I would want people to know you do need to be steadfast and assertive about what you want. But you can do it!

max gets his stitches out

We’ve been getting quite a few inquiries about getting copies of DUDE, so we just wanted to make our financial position clear to the community.

The {also} foundation have been incredibly supportive and generous: helping us pay for the printing costs of DUDE 1 and 2, as well as our initial mail out. However we still have incidental and other ongoing costs, and we want to be able to make DUDE sustainable as an ongoing project independent of {also}’s funding, which is not guaranteed (for a variety of reasons). We are also very grateful for all the donations we have received and also the support from the Melbourne community at recent events. This also helps us to pay for printing.

In order to be able to keep printing future editions, we need to ensure our cash flow is healthy. Therefore we have decided to sell DUDE.2 hard copies (printed versions of the magazine) and make it available free online only. This recipe means that printing and ancillary costs in future are paid for by sales of current issues, advertising income and sponsorship.

We have also sold hard copies of DUDE.1 on this basis. We have also distributed many free copies of DUDE.1. DUDE.1 will be reprinted on an ongoing basis and some free copies will be distributed through service providers to drive positive change in service delivery to trans people, as well as in certain sections of the wider community to aid in trans awareness.

DUDE will ALWAYS be available for FREE online, but we need to charge for printed copies to ensure the longevity of the project.

See you over the summer at a launch party!

Max, Jez & Ash

Just send us your size with your $20 donation to the link below.

Sizes available: tees 6 / 8/ 10 / 12 / 14 / 16 singlets: s / m / l / xl sizing chart

• Postage within Australia add $6
• International shipping available, select your country here to calculate postage cost and add this amount to your donation. Singlets/tees weigh about 200g each. Be sure to specify type of mail (Air Mail, Express etc).
• We acknowledge that ‘sizing’ fails, like many things, to encompass the diversity of human experience. If you want a size not listed, we will gladly endeavour to get a shirt printed that works for you. We can definitely get 0 – 5XL. Email us with your requests. DUDEtranszine@gmail.com

Pre-order now and pick up at: DUDE.2 Early Release Party (Melbourne),
DUDE.2 Official Launch Picnic Party (Melbourne),
DUDE.2 Official Launch: BRISBANE, or
Queer Indie Publishers at Fair Day (Sydney).

We really appreciate your support!

Why not make a zine to celebrate?

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dotdotdash is a tri-annual publication that calls Perth, Australia home. Staffed by volunteers, dotdotdash Magazine exists to bring artists and writers to the fore. We publish all genres of poetry, short fiction and creative non-fiction, comics, illustrations, drawings, and photos.

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